July 16, 2012

• Fixing A Hole

   Internets Noodles (rigid variety) and Condoleeza Rice (slightly less rigid variety) below

  
  

   

   

   A couple of days ago I was perusing a newspaper site, or something much like it, on the Noodle, which, as Mr. Biggles reminds us, is what the very "Internets" itself looks like when one takes a really, like closeup picture of it; a buncha noodles weaving sinuously through and waving presumptuously and, perhaps snottily, at the distracted and tattered overworked yet underemployed consciousness of myself and my fellow citizens these days. And I stumbled upon a blog or an article- hey I stopped taking score of exactly where I'm a-gittin' my current gossip some years ago- speculatin' on who the Once and Future President Romney might choose to make his bid a reality as his Vice Presidential choice. The correct result for this time could result into the President who makes decisions for the next 4, 8 or possibly 32 years in office- depending on where our current Supremacist Court comes down on this issue. The length of an American president's term had been an issue set in stone in the founding days of the American republic- at least until the non-Democratic Party of our Empire realized the only way it could defeat FDR was through death-- the ballot box had continued to elude them as a cure back in those good olde days you see.
  And while I'm, okay, no Republican, in fact, now that I'm thinking of it, is Gus Hall still alive?- even little ole' I can certainly see a marriage made in Hollywood-style Heaven if Mitt chose Ms. Condi Rice for Veep.
  

   

  Halloween Job Report (we ran out of barrels)

  
  

  For one thing, especially if in tandem with an ongoingly grim job report 'round next Halloween and assuming the likely amassing of, oh-I dunno, about 1,950,032 trillion dollars from the 4th Reich SuperPac Corp., it would provide the Grand Ole Potty someone seasoned in diplomacy, a Stanford grad (and one not even financed by "Poppy" Bush), well-spoken and would bring a leveling influence to the Cafe Au Lait diversity sweepstakes.

  
  As for Condi being a "war criminal"- yes- and, well, "duh!?!?"- for those of you folks not paying attention the last decade or so this puts her on equal footing with most of the survivors of the last few House and Senate incarnations as well as our current Commander in Chief who couldn't seem to stop issuing political "walks" to the Rethuglican fascists during those crucial early innings when what we- the desperately dumb-assed folks who voted for him- really needed him to do was to send a few flamingly fast,fervent notes of chin music past their collectively gob-smacked jowls during the Obama glory years of his first two in office before he lost Congress to Grover Norquist's bathtub renovation trust fund.
  As for the " 'gay' thing"- it seems to be attached to about every other celebrity in the world...and that's possibly about the right percentage in my book. Of course my book is very Gay. But I digress- I used to digest- but my stomach's been too crappy for that lately so I just try to take solace in the fact that for a great many of us the world as it is is making us sick and for all the rest of you that'll likely come later. But then I've always been an optimist.

  
  Plus, don't know how many of you 'member this but when the Big O(bama) wus runnin' in '08 there was this demi-drag queen from Meh-hee-Co who claimed he was sure it was young Barrack he gave a BJ to on Spring Break way back when Mr. Prez was allegedly a polymath student as well as a polymorphous stud muffin in his undergrad daze loosed in Cancun or somewhere like that.
  For some reason I can't find a link to any site that featured this 'story". A fellow poster who worked in publishing in NYC and wrote a brilliantly witty Xanga blog linked to the story as well...and I can't find any link to him, either. Hmmm, funny.
  Anyway, as I was saying-----oh, pardon me, there's a knock at the door.******"pssst! PLC, kill the lights. Shhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!"******

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  Xangans, it's now...several days later........
  Ooh, that was close. Now, uh, where were we?
  The funny part about that is that it almost sounds plausible to me tho' the picture in the paper made it appear that the now middle-aged guy allegedly providing services back in the day may have had more teeth and looked more drag-appropriate so that maybe his victims may have been no wiser about the precise sexing of the medium for their cheap thrill- at least until they run for US President.
  In a tangentially related subject, not to say tangenitally related one, there was a spot on Stephen Colbert's show a few weeks ago. Though any excuse to watch just about any moment of the "Colbert Report" is time well spent , at least once you get past the obnoxious commercial before the clip, at about 4:25 into this segment Mr. Colbert reveals a possible insight to how Karl (still not dead) Rove's Fourth-Reichian-Meritocracy-of-the-Conscienceless-Rich agenda is taking advantage of the "Citizens United" Supreme (still not dead) Court decision:
  http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/413970/may-08-2012/corporate-campaign-players---super-secret--spooky-pacs-

  I'm tellin' ya kids glory holes are to current cultural discussions what drag queens were to the 90's hipster parties I used to hear about but never went to. I was too busily engaged in the polishing of my underachieving lack of a career to a high gloss and the gnashing my teeth to a high, uncomfortable decibel level for both me and those suffering humans in the immediate vicinity. And gurls, let's face it; teeth gnashing is strictly declasse at drag parties unless it's part of someone's gender-liberational shtick and, need I add, obviously a "No-No" at glory holes- I mean unless the guy on the other side has a special request.

   

  
  Somewhere in between these two particular phenomena children became the de rigueur accessory for today's uber-assimilationist gay couple. Even my first lover and his current husband were building families for the 21st century.
  I wish him only the best. By the power invested in me by my faithful readership of Dan Savage's columns and assorted essays or blog thingies, I meant that.
  But, fergawdsakes- don't ever tell him that. He doesn't deserve it. The cad. By "him" I mean my first, fated boyfriend not Dan Savage. Mr. Savage does deserve kudos. Though in all humility my reaction to his "It Gets Better" campaign to be a force against gay teen suicide is to start a dark counter campaign about nursing our accumulated infirmities into our Golden Years for unwitting gay guys and call it "It Gets Worse". My second choice is to call it, "Smile, It Gets Worse".
  Does anyone else suspect I have regrets about the resultant psychic tartar from my life? But, then again, too few to mention. Except where I mention them.

  

   Bruno accessorizing

   I have never had a desire to have kids. I missed the generational impulse that was triggered somewhere between Gen X, Y, Z or AA (no pun intended) possibly as a byproduct of the need for non-circulating, committed relationships after AIDS found us dropping in mass numbers from attempting to drag the Summer of Love all the way to the Mid-Winter of Craven Lust. Love, obviously, is essential but damn I misses me some craven lust. Anyway after emerging from the total pariah-hood of the late 80s to the Look-At-Us-We're-Just-Like-You Civil Rights era of the Aughts (2000-2009) it was probably only natural many of us thought, "Day-yum! Could I possibly be a worse parent than the many I've seen who possibly needed an entrance exam and several aptitude tests as well as a mere marriage license?" But I, in my old school way, think of raising children as sort of along the same lines as needing to climb Mt. Everest, jumping from a bungee cord off the Goodyear blimp over Burning Man, seizing the CEO position of a major company or corporation or creating a definitive list of airport tearooms as a energetic member in turgid standing of the Larry Craig Memorial Foundation.
  Whaddaya mean Larry Craig's not dead?
  Well, um, okay but I STILL need that list. I'm fresh out of drag queens and chilluns I can strap into my New Age papoose to crash parties with.

  • 3:58 pm
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