October 16, 2010

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  This is not my usual thing to mention here but when I picked up this morning's paper there was an article about a 16-year-old boy who'd been been murdered, stabbed 16 times, by gang members laying in wait. He hadn't done anything to merit their attention but one of the four young men, friends of the young man's, he'd been sitting in a car with had apparently had a run in with one of the gang members over that friend's girlfriend. Today, October 16, is the one year anniversary of the young man's death. I'd heard about this when it had happened and it was awful to think and feel about. As I read today's article with photos on the front page of the young man's devastated parents and the young man himself I became teary at the look of pain on his parents' faces and the sweet, open smile of the dead boy. He had been a victim of that circumstance and there is no one who can think about his passing who hasn't commented about his disposition of kindness and the care he had for his friends. It sounds like a typical reaction one often hears at times like these but inside the paper there is another different picture and the same qualities as described by his parents and his friends shines through this picture as well. It's a look that if you had no idea who he was or the story surrounding the remembrance of him today you would take to be representative of someone precisely as others remember him today. I can't imagine a more tragic loss for anyone or any parent.

  The boy was deaf in one ear and there was speculation that he tripped or was tripped a year ago in part because he got a slower start in fleeing the scene and so was the one caught by the gang members rather than the object of their attention.

  Within seven months of this death there was the shooting death of one of this young man's best friends- it also was evidently gang-related. Neither boy was a gang member and so there is an additional sense of alarm and outrage about these deaths and the threat it conveys to the westside Santa Cruz neighborhood both murders occurred in. Three of the five suspects in the first boy's death have been apprehended- none of the second boy's have been though.

  About 15 years ago I had been doing one of my daily walks for exercise wearing my red 49er sweatpants and shirt. I walked from the Seabright neighborhood place I lived, next door to PLC, and down to the street next to the Santa Cruz boardwalk and then up a ways to West Cliff Drive, Santa Cruz's best known public walking, biking, casual strolling sidewalk in this area. It's right next to the sea on a short cliff above that sea.

  Opposite the Boardwalk with its classic wooden roller coaster, mad mouse, fun house, laser tag and various hyped-up rides de jour as well as its myriad concession stands is a neighborhood commonly referred to as Beach Flats. Beach Flats has been populated by low-income Mexican families and workers and folks out of work for a couple of generations at least. It was at the time of my walk notorious for prostitution- women of "the street" being plainly visibly here as night descends and often in the sunlight hours as well- as well as the most famous series of streets for local drug traffic. Needless to say it was a poor community economically that featured increasingly shabby looking motels the closer you came to the beach. It's certainly not the first time I've been somewhere in which the poorest residents have a next-door view of the biggest economic tourist draw in their community- and hence the biggest revenue earner. A lot of towns are like this. I marveled almost 35 years ago at my one trip back east when I was walking through Washington D.C. that it looked like, as I liked to characterize it, a "spruced up Disneyland for government bureaucracy surrounded by a ghetto" with the racial lines of demarcation apparent to all.

  Well after a year or two of doing my not-a-power-walk-more-of-a-lamely-determined-walk thing one day just as I was directly across the street on the "border" of said fabled Boardwalk and Beach Flats up walked a group of Mexican guys with an evidently older "spokesperson" and this "spokesperson" guy walks close enough to me to almost kiss me and mutters "red" as a type of inquiry and accusation. These guys are clearly going to block my path so I stop not able to think what would be wise right then and the same guy stares at me and asks me why I'm wearing red. Though I can no longer remember my answer it must've been along the lines of, "well it's just the team I'm a fan of and I really don't have anything else I'd wear to sweat in." I also don't remember what anyone in this group's response was but I gave it a beat and hoped that I'd played it dumb enough to have hit somewhere in the target of "hey I'm obviously a 40-something white guy in a not very new looking sweatsuit- clearly I'm not in a gang or making a statement" in the psychic airwaves of that moment. These guys made no motion except when their "spokesperson" made a subtle move that seemed to signal they weren't going to pursue the matter and I tentatively began to take a modest step in the direction of moving on my way. Thankfully that's what happened and I left the scene as the group sauntered in the other direction satisfied, I figured, that they had made their point about my being in "their" territory and to "watch it" or some other teenage terror bully sentiment. I breathed a sigh of relief that must've cooled the flop sweat I'd pooled in only a few moments from the incident while I made a mental note to start thinking about a new walking route to take.

  As I walked further on I also felt resentment for obvious reasons but also for the fact that there seemed to be enough cops in town to be taking a bit more observant role in what must be becoming a more visible problem in town and figured that I'd probably just been lucky that I hadn't encountered a situation like this- or worse- before. I also started thinking about whether I should get a grey or a green sweatsuit as a psychological or physical assault from a group of disgruntled Batman or Green Hornet fans seemed to be an infinitely safer risk to take.

  But to have to worry about what color you wear inasmuch as some folks felt "ownership" of two of the three primary colors was also a notion to foster resentment as well. What else would my pansy-ass be willing to give up to get by in life?

  For those not initiated into the studies of Gang Color 1-A, the color red is associated with the "Nortenos"(Northerners) who are generally Mexicans who have been in the US for some time and feel a sense of it being their territory and the color blue is the "Surenos" (Southerners) who are generally recent arrivals. Recent or "old school" these gangs both lay claim to territories in US communities. I was aware when I was approached of the significance of red in this color scheme of gang identity but I suppose I simply had felt that it would be obvious I wasn't taking sides in a dispute which did not involve me personally or ethnically. Of course like most people who hear any news outside of their own four walls I had also heard of people being attacked and even killed who would clearly seem to be equally as clueless about how they had unwittingly set themselves up to be objects of unwanted attention, mistaken identity and violence.

  People often refer to the poor first-generation Irish, Chinese and Italians- or rather especially Sicilians- as evidence of immigrant groups that established a foothold in influence and economics through gangs during the last century especially. The recently "capitalist" Russians seem to be famous for it in more recent times. There's no denying this but the peculiarly long term problem with a population culled from our actual physical next-door neighbors probably poses some problems not on a par with those other groups.

  Gangs are a merry-go-round from prison to the streets and back to prison and back to the streets that has inculcated a tradition that plays into a weakness now becoming much more exposed in recent decades in the United States. Thanks to NAFTA the economic woes on both sides of the border have lead, predictably, to a desperateness which stems from native businesses in Mexico, the US and the western hemisphere in general being absorbed and or outsourced into more distant locales and becoming more profitable for ever shrinking and more concentrated ownership. There's plenty of work that needs to be done on both the infrastructure of both countries as well as services to and for many of us as well. But there is a shrinking supply of funds and people willing to invest in what it will take to get those concerns addressed.

  When times are hard economically people will go where they can and must and others will find scapegoats for these same conditions. That's a combination in which people will feel their identities challenged and humans whose identities are challenged at some point almost always finds an outlet in violence. I really hate to say it but I think it's truer than we as a people would be able to prevent even starting here and now.

  None of this is to excuse the murders in the story I related here. Either our lives matter or they are superfluous. But some problems can be helped and even solved and some can never be. There is no excuse for "never".

  I'm sure some of you have read with horror the outright anarchy of the Mexican border towns that have had hundreds of innocent people killed in the crossfire of gangs and cartels. In Santa Cruz county and city there have been 14 murders so far this year that are considered to be gang-related including two very young Mexican teenagers of whom I do not know their affiliations if any but who also leave a trail of mourning in their wakes as deep as any for those who loved these children.

  ************

  On a personal note PLC has lost his primary care doctor. She was a wonderful doctor and while not a Lyme expert had been willing to give PLC IV antibiotic treatment at the recommendation of a Lyme specialist we have to pay out of pocket to see. We are both convinced he may need more antibiotic therapy along with other medicines and methods that will help him become more resistant to pain and an ongoing case of insomnia that had him break down in tears to me yesterday saying that he felt "so alone". I knew what he meant even though I am not going through his experience I am going with him through his as an "outsider" who loves him. I only say outsider because it's impossible to tell someone you "know how they feel" when that person has become adept at understanding that he can't really believe that even though it would be a huge comfort to. What I can do is try to listen and accept. I am trying but it's hard for me obviously too. A lot of my world is tied up in this guy and I can't really have acceptance of his pain and misery have any place in it. I can only try to live with my unease and try to ward off despair as PLC tries to continue to live with his disease and ward off his.

  PLC knows I love him in case you are concerned by that last paragraphs selection of phrases- that's not an issue of course.

  The latest doctor who PLC was set up to see and takes Medi-Cal is a real pill and was both hostile to continuing PLC's pain meds- which do not resolve the pain but do offer some help in taking the edge off and occasionally keep it at bay especially if he has some distraction- and even more hostile to agreeing to follow an antibiotic therapy if PLC's Lyme doctors recommend it. Her story is that she would have to run that by an infectious disease doctor who's part of a medical group she is in. The infectious disease doctor she will consult is none other than the same doctor who said he could not be PLC's primary care doctor because "his case was too hard". This was after six months of being PLC's primary care doctor, ordering tests, not sharing the results with PLC or me and who would leaf through PLC's chart at office visits without landing on a page or a coherent rationale for his actions or lack thereof. He is also one of a newer breed of physicians who views pain meds with distaste. I see these people as New Age Puritans- favorites of the insurance companies who favor as little pain medication as they can get away with. If that worked I would be all in favor of it- but it clearly doesn't. This same doctor was told of PLC's insomnia 5 years ago and simply looked at us with a smile and said, "Well, no one ever died from a lack of sleep." When he said that I felt like strangling him as I said, "well did anyone ever die from a lack of oxygen you miserable misanthropic quack!!?" Just in case you didn't know this sleep deprivation is actually used as a torture technique -so this doctor's assessment in even making such a statement appears like all his other actions- as actionable malpractice with a sadistic emphasis.

  His attitude about Lyme is that antibiotic therapy seems to help and then the person stops taking them and then they get sick again. So he doesn't see that as an effective treatment. Try telling that to an AIDs patient- I guess as soon as we stop taking our "cocktails" we'll just get sick again so what's the use?

  Since PLC's insomnia has been on the rise and is making everyday miserable during the last number of months this is a doubly depressing thing to hear from the new primary care candidate along with the realization that her go-to consultant is an poor excuse for a human being let alone for a physician.

  A greater underlying reality about all of this is that doctors either fall into the category of many of the infectious disease specialists who feel doubtful to hostile about ongoing antibiotic treatment for Lyme patients - whom many of doubt even still have Lyme but may be suffering with what they are calling "post-Lyme syndrome"- and doctors who have a wider experience with patients with Lyme who see antibiotic therapy for long time sufferers as essential.

  There are peer-reviewed studies over more than twenty years that show that the spirochete that is the active agent of Lyme is resistant even after extensive antibiotics being administered because it can transform its form and "hide" in the body when antibiotics are administered. There is also thinking that these bugs mutate. There are, in addition to the Lyme spirochete, co-infections usually borne by the same tick(s) responsible for the original infection. These have their own insidious rhythms and debilitating effects and along with Lyme act on the brain, central nervous system, hormonal system, urinary tract among other areas and systems in the body. The recent discovery that HIV "hides" in bone marrow even during multiple drug "cocktail" therapy is an analogous fact.

  PLC has just gotten up- it's late in the day and he's missed his regular time for meds but I'm hard-pressed to wake him when it seems that any amount of sleep is too welcome to interrupt. Despite what a moronic physician may say without rest many diseases do not improve as quickly as they should and with Lyme- especially if it's resurgent- it's virtually impossible for the body to heal without the aid of rest. We recently met another Lyme patient- a wonderfully talented woman who makes musical instruments- violins in fact. She has terrible insomnia and knows the price for this is no idle matter. It's hard to understand what a terrible toll something like this can exact from a life. There are so many things you are simply not functional to do or even free to enjoy in a passive manner.

  Ironically my own doctor is another infectious disease specialist. I personally like his intelligence, his gentleness and his service to those in this community who he has helped through their HIV infections but he is resistant to all but the most conventional views of the other infectious disease groups who as a set of doctors have become a road block to more effective understanding and therefore treatment of Lyme which increasingly seems to be the poor, redheaded step child of HIV. Together they are a powerful one-two punch in the realm of illnesses that render a normal immune system insufficient to cope with the threats they each distinctively represent. Even the Center For Disease Control acknowledges that Lyme disease and its other tick-borne hitchhikers may be underreported by 90% or more.

  As a telling anecdote I have to say that PLC came in to see "my" doctor- who neither of us knew at the time in 1993- with a rash PLC thought might be ringworm. "My" doctor concluded that it was not ringworm but never thought it might be Lyme. It has now been established that the famous "bulls-eye" rash associated with Lyme disease can be in many more forms than the bulls-eye. PLC and I have depressingly thought that my doctor may well have missed the first sign of an outward Lyme infection in which case PLC would've been sick for close to 15 years before an effective antibiotic was ever administered to begin to deal with it. That's 15 years too late. The other salient fact is that blood test for antibodies are famously unreliable as an indicator of Lyme and a couple of the other tick-bornes, in fact, the longer one has been exposed the less of an antibody reaction will show in blood work making a diagnosis, once it's missed initially, that much more difficult.

  *****

  Okay, okay enough with the grim shit!

  It's my/our life but we do try to pepper it from time to time with much needed distractions.

  I haven't had a chance to mention that as PLC loves live music as a way to focus on things other than his situation we went to see the "Jenny and Johnny Show" at the Rio Theater in Santa Cruz. That would be Jenny Lewis and Johnathan Rice who are both song writers, musicians, singers and in love.

  We had seen them last year at the same venue and loved them right back.

  They were very good this time too though I was able to make a bit more of the previous "Acid Tongue" show which had several songs roll out I could hang my hat on and enjoy.

  They came with two very interesting opening acts, the first being Farmer Dave Scher. Farmer Dave is a singer and musician with a very non-sequitury patter before and between songs which was puzzling as well as amusing. The music had a sort of psychedelic punk hillbilly lilt and took awhile to get "there" but by the last two songs I was paying pretty good attention to the quirkily atmospheric sounds which became sublime. The group sounded from the intros to be musicians from Mr. Scher and Jenny Lewis' LA end of the state along with San Francisco and other Bay Area talents and definitely painted an eclectic picture on stage and aurally.

  The second group was called the Ganglians and are apparently famous in their native Sacramento performing realm for an equally adventurous psychedelic hybrid sound. The lead singer must've sound checked the instruments and sound system before they actually played a song enough times to make several in the audience besides me suspicious that they'd just been pressed into duty outside the theater 15 minutes before the show. However with a lead singer who was so thin and had such a long, lank waterfall of blond hair he made the classic Johnny Winter of early 70s fame look like a bareheaded Marine by comparison and a shortish really rather cutish bass player who kept reminding me of a Hobbit they thrashed through their repertoire with enough authority and decisiveness and musical hooks that I'm pretty sure I'd see them again if they were appearing in another show. These guys really rocked. That lead singer though looked speed-freaky thin- a body like a series of determined pipe cleaners hanging together with sheer will power. He may be as mild as May in personal reality but he conveyed the weirdest sort of Alpha male vibe that was nonetheless still admirable.

  Jenny and Johnny were very good again. And there were a couple of interesting moments. One was when a female in the audience shouted at her partner, Johnny, "I love you!" and she seemed to do a puzzled double take. I thought maybe it was kinda rude to shout that but I might have thought it should be expected. In Santa Cruz it is just as likely that a lot of the females in the audience were at least as interested in seeing Jenny and maybe even shouting a few "I love yous" to her as well. She is clearly loved here as well as most places she strums a guitar and sings for folks I'm sure. Jenny is very sharp but very down home and "everywoman" modest in the best senses all the while retaining an undeniable star quality. I've heard her described by one blogger/critic as the "queen" of this decades alternate/indy music scene.

  At another point in the show they dedicated the show to "the people of Los Angeles" which I have no problem with except that they were here in Santa Cruz. I kept thinking that we missed some sudden news about a freak flash flood in Hollywood or Silverlake in getting to the show- but I found no disasters in the noos when I got home and warmed up the 'puter box.

  In any event I found out later that the Santa Cruz gig was their first of their current tour and so felt we had been honored when I also read that the last show we'd seen with them had also been that tour's kickoff.

  So I could only conclude they loved us Santa Cruz types too and in fact used us as their first live sounding board both times.

  At the end of their set- which was the superb aforementioned song in an earlier blog- called "Big Wave" about the wiped out state of Cali these days they received loud applause and many of us tried to persuade them to come back for an encore but to no avail. I wondered a bit that maybe the crowd wasn't quite electric enough to justify their return to sing a couple more but I think it more likely they just needed to call it a night for reasons we wouldn't be privy to. And as Stuart Smalley would say, "and that's okay." We liked what we got.

  Next weekend- for those reading later than the chronological that will be, or was, October 23rd, Saturday- PLC and I are planning to go to the Neil Young's Bridge Concert in Mountain View on Saturday night. We'd tried to get tickets to Sunday's show to catch Elton John and Leon Russell as well as Neko Case but they sold out fast- especially because I wasted my time trying to get tickets at Ticketmaster which may be the last time I bother with them. PLC found tickets for Saturday at another web venue (Stub Hub I think) and we get to see:

  Buffalo Springfield (with Steve Stills)

  Pearl Jam

  Elvis Costello

  Merle Haggard and Kris Kristofferson

  Lucinda Williams

  Billy Idol

  Jackson Browne and David Lindley

  Modest Mouse

  Grizzly Bear

  And that's a pretty outrageous line up- I'm looking forward to it, we both are. Wish us luck my dear friends. I'll issue a full report when I can get my little ole self togetha to do it afterwards.

  　

  

  　

  • 7:59 pm
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